Di orisirisi tings wey man pikin dey see in di course (Olorunmaje) of my taxi driver work for dis Lagos, I go tell Oga Grandmaster Sunny Okim make e take am write book one day make we begin dey sell. I sure say all di tori go full 100 book sef. Abi how una see am?

Since Tuesday wey I nack una di sweet tori say I don dey pack my load small small to enter Aso Rock, Lagos sisi dem no let me rest.

Dat Wednesday, as I just comot for my house wey dey for Abule Egba, say make I begin dey go our garage wey dey for near Ikeja under bridge, one passenger like dat stop me for dat my street gan gan. E say make I carry am for drop go Victoria Island.

Dat early morning, di kind Go-slow wey dey for on top IBB Bridge, no be small ting. Na around 11:30 O’clock a.m. in di morning we reach VI.

Dat’s why, as I dey come back, I take Costain to Ojuelegba, to Ikorodu Road, den begin dey come Ikeja.

I drive enter our garage, before I come down sef, see as seven sisi like dat just rush me. Dem no even allow me come down from my guonguoro.

One of dem say “I first!”, di second one say “No, I first!”. Na so anoder one wey dey for back rush come forward and begin shout, “Una no well. Na me first reach here before all of una!”

I manage come down, na im all of dem just surround me. Afraid catch me. I ask dem wetin dem want. Na so all of dem bring out envelope from dia handbag one time. All of dem struggle to give me at di same time.

I come tell dem say make dem queue, say I go collect am one by one. For dem to queue sef, no be small ting o. Come see how dem dey fight, fall down and stand up, just to be in front.

Wen dem don queue finish, I collect di first envelop and open am. See di oyibo wey e write for inside:

“My dearest Oga MAT,

“It is my greatest pleasure to write to you this love letter, which serves as an application for the position of your First Lady as you plan to relocate to Aso Rock to take up the exalted position of Chief Driver. I am a graduate of Sociology with second class upper from Ekpoma. Since I read your story on Maggie's Blog on Tuesday, I have not been myself. I have been dreaming of how I will become your First Lady. Please consider me for this position. I promise to serve you and satisfy you all round 24/7.

“I remain your lover to be.

“Loveth Mike.”

I close di letter, I say make Loveth step aside and wait for me. I collect di second one, open am and read. I see say na di same position (First Lady) e apply for. I say make e step aside too and wait for me.

Wen I finish to read di last one, I come tank dem well well. I shake dia hand one by one.

Come see as dem dey cut eye for me, dey give me orisirisi smile. One of dem just jump for my body, begin rob my chest. Na im I jump aside. Dat one na real ogbologbo. I tell am make e relax first, say I go answer all of dem.

I come tell dem say make dem go back, say dem go hear from me very soon since dia phone number dey for dia application.

Dem tank me well well before dem go. Some of dem even blow me kiss for air, I receive am.

Wen dem go finish, I come siddon dey tink. Which day I advertise dis vacancy? So na dat my small tori bring all dis? If I take any of dem do First Lady for Aso Rock, wetin Bose go come be nah? And Chief Driver dey get First Lady?

As I carry up my head small, na im I see my union member dem stand for my front – Jimoh, Idowu, Akpan and orders. All of dem begin laugh, and tease me as dem call me, “Oko First Lady!”

Make we jam again for Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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