Since wen all dis ting wey dem call campaign start, I don dey see orisirisi tings for Lagos.

I no know why be say na our garage wey dey for near Ikeja under bridge, na im all di politrickcian dem dey target.

Everyday na so dem dey come. Dem go bring poster, handbill, sticker and order orisirisi campaign tings come make we helep dem spread.

As passenger dem no dey too show face since dis new year, na so me and my union member dem siddon dey play draft for garage yesterday.

Small time, one big man like dat wey im belle be like woman wey want born now, now, now come. E park im car for under dat Ikeja bridge, and take leg waka come our garage.

E wear T-shirt and fez cap wey dem draw umbrella. E greet us good morning, we answer am. E come ask who be chairman for our garage.

I look Idowu, Idowu look Akpan, Akpan look Jimoh, Jimoh look me. Na so we come dey looku looku like say all of us drink lucozade. Di big belle man embarras, no be small.

Di man ask again who be our union chairman. As a true Naija man, me sef use question to answer im question. I say, “I hope no troublem o.”

Di man say make afraid no catch us, say im want give us business. Na dat time Jimoh jump up, e say na im be di overall chairman.

Akpan no even allow Jimoh land, e say na im be PRO. Idowu say na im be Treasurer. Me sef come tell di man say na me be di Akowe – di secretary general. Una kukuma sabi say me I no fit carry last nah.

Di big belle man come talk say, di business wey im get for us be say, e go give us sticker make we paste for all di taxi wey dey for our garage. And we go also paste di sticker for di body of all di taxi, kabu kabu, danfo, keke marwa and keke napep wey enter Ikeja. E say if we gree, e go give us N100, 000.

We say make e bring di money. Na im di pregnant man signal im boy wey dey with im car for under Ikeja bridge. Quick quick, im boy don bring one big bundle of im party sticker. Di man count di money complete give Idowu. Di man and im boy no comot for garage sef wen we don start di work.

After like one hour, na im anoda bobo come meet us again. Dis one tiny like bonga fish and na so im neck long like ostrich own. Im own T-shirt and fez cap na broom dem draw.

As di lepa bobo greet us finish, e come tell us say Jagaban send am message to us wey dey for dat garage. E ask who be chairman, Jimoh no just waste time, e say na im be di chairman.

Di bobo talk say im want give us poster wey we go paste for our garage and di hole of Ikeja, go reach Airport area, Maryland, Oregun, Omole, Moshalashi Alhaja, Onipetesi, in short, all di area wey surround Ikeja.

Di bobo just open di Ghana-Must-Go wey dey for inside im car boot, and bring out 20 bundle of brand new 1,000 naira note wey still dey smell mint. Olorun Oba o!

Di lepa bobo hand over di money to me direct. E come talk say “Oga MAT, I trust you will do justice to this job.” Ewo! I come talk am for my mind say so dis lepa shandy sef sabi me!

Na so I collect di money, smile, take a bow and say, “Consider it done, my lord!” Chai, money can make man do anyting, even to speak grammar by fire by force.

Wen di bobo don go, Akpan come talk say which side we dey sef? E say Umbrella bring, we collect. Broom bring, we collect.

Na im I come ask Akpan why we no go collect. I say if any of my union member want form sainty, na im sabi. If you know you stand with Buhari, take only Broom money, and if you know you stand with Atiku, take only Umbrella money.

I come tell dem say, but as for me o, I stand with Buhari and I stand with Atiku. If I see Cock money sef, I go collect am chop and clean mouth, but on dat day na di person wey I want vote for, na im I go vote for. After all, all na our money dem return back.

Make we jam again for Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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