Any time wey rain fall for Lagos, di ting dey make me laugh. Even dough rain dey try to spoil business for we wey dey always dey for road, but wetin man pikin fit do for di ting wey God don sign? Rain must fall if we must wack! If road flood wey rain dey fall so-te man no fit put im taxi for road, dat one no be God fault. Na all does gofment agbero dem cause am. Dose people way dia work na to take the pen do amu robber for gofment office. Road wey don spoil finish, dem go write am for paper for office say dem don turn am to expressway – all to take blow di people’s money. Well, God dey.

But bad road or no bad road, flood or no flood, I dey always like di orisirisi tings wey dey happen wen rain fall. Una kukuma sabi say na sisi dem dey like to carry umbrella pass. If small water just drop small kpere from sky, you go see Lagos bobo dem for action. Dem go hang for one corner, dey wait any sisi wey go open im umbrella. Na dat time you go see say one bobo go just rush like hawk wey see chicken. E go take style beg di sisi make e share im umbrella reach somewia for front. Na so di two both of dem go manage di small tiny umbrella. From dia, body go dey touch body, and from dia….. na you sabi!

Di order day, na so I siddon for garage dey look road wen rain dey fall. I no gree put my guonguoro for road make water no swallow am for me. Na so I just dey look as bobo dem dey rush dem sisi wey carry umbrella. I shake my head, den come talk am for my mind say na wa for Lagos-0! Small time di rain stop. Cold come catch me no be small. Na im I say make I go under bridge go buy small hot take warm my body (na just becos of cold I dey take am, dat’s why I no call am ogogoro. Na agbero dem dey drink ogogoro, orderwise known as gbaraga).

But wen I reach under bridge, Iya Sule no come market, so I say make I touch railway line go see Iya Afis. Na only two people dia hot be original. If you pour am for ground put matches, e go catch fire kia kia. Di rest na fake.

I take like two shot for Iya Afis hand. As I begin dey come, na im rain start again. One sisi hold umbrella dey come for my back. Wen di sisi see say rain don begin soak me, e say make I join am. But dat one no make di rain stop to beat me becos di umbrella just big small pass cocoa yam leaf. Di only ting be say, I enjoy di ride no be small, na so di sisi just take im ripe pawpaw dey rub me for body. If I wan dress comot small, di sisi go come follow me bumper to bumper.

But make I talk true, I no know who come close, weda na me abi na di sisi. But wetin I know be say di sisi pawpaw wey stand like Standard Bank just gum for my body. All di cold wey dey for my body tel tele just disappear. To waka sef hard me. My leg come begin dey shake for ground like Shakespear. Na dat time I come sabi di enjoy wey dey for umbrella business. No wonder!

Small time di sisi ask me weda I know wia Ikeja taxi park dey. I tell am say na dia I dey go. I ask am who im dey look for. Di sisi open im hand bag and bring out one letter. I see dem write for the envelop: “To Oga MAT.” I tell di sisi say na my letter. Wen we reach under Ikeja Bridge, we stop. I open di letter read am. I see say na my main di main Oga, Grandmaster Sunny Okim, write me. E say im don change base. E say now im dey Maggie’s Blog wey dey for inside News Express. I happy for am no be small. Who no like better ting?

Dat’s why me sef I change base, follow am. From now on, na for inside Maggie’s Blog I go dey nack una my sweet sweet tory. And na every Friday and Tuesday ego dey shele.

N.B:

Abeg dis ting wey I wan tell una so, na secret-o. No let anybody hear am yet-o till e happen. My oga, Grandmaster Sunny Okim say im wan buy anoder motor for me make I take dey do my taxi driver work so dat I go trowey dis my guonguoro. And e fit be say na Uber sef. Halleluya somebody!

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very very much indeed.

Update news