Aside from being a perceptive photographer, Yinka Alo has been in the men?s shoe business in Lagos for about four years.

The 33-year-old?s warm personality and entrepreneurial flair have won him loyal customers, some of whom travel from neighbouring states just to patronise him.

But behind the charming smile of the handsome father of one lies a turbulent personal life. One quiet afternoon, Alo opened up about the emotional weight of his messy divorce.

?Have you heard that my wife and I have gone our separate ways?? he asked our correspondent, a smirk playing on his lips but failing to mask the pain in his voice.

Though an elaborately framed photo from their 2023 traditional wedding still hung proudly on the yellow wall of his sitting room, Alo no longer wore his wedding ring, a silent testament to the end of what once was.

?She was cheating on me with a gym guy,? he said bitterly. ?I discovered their chats one day and confronted her. At first, she lied, not knowing I had backed up all the evidence and even forwarded it to someone in case she wiped her phone. They were meeting at his place and other locations for sex.

?Later, I found out she had also been sending him money, including part of the money I gave her for her upkeep. She was working, but the guy wasn?t, so he was living off her ? and by extension, living off me. He told her he wanted to travel abroad and take her with him, so she was giving him money,? he added with a sneer.

Alo?s voice hardened as he spoke about the betrayal. ?I sent her to my parents, they were defending her. Even my pastor tried everything to fix the situation, but how can I live under the same roof with a woman who is actively cheating on me? It?s not possible. What hurt even more was that she didn?t show any remorse.?

Some of the chats Alo shared with Saturday PUNCH painted a vivid picture of the affair, revealing lengthy conversations and receipts of monetary transactions between the fitness trainer and his ex-wife, spanning over a year.

But the heartbreak didn?t end there. The Ile-Ife, Osun State native, claimed his findings showed that the affair began even before their wedding.

?The court has granted her custody of our daughter,? he said solemnly. ?And honestly, she?s better positioned financially to take care of her than I am. For now, I just want to focus on my businesses and rebuild what?s left of my peace.?

The fitness fad

Amid Nigeria?s rapidly expanding fitness culture, an experience like Alo?s divorce has become the subject of much public chatter, ignited by shocking allegations of affairs between wives and fitness trainers.

Such scandal, which has unfolded against the backdrop of a rising societal shift toward health and fitness, has not only disrupted personal lives but also reflects the changing dynamics of relationships in an increasingly fitness-conscious society.

While gyms have long been a mainstay in industrialised nations, Nigeria?s burgeoning fitness culture marks a significant shift in the nation?s values and has placed greater emphasis on physical fitness, overall health, and well-being.

This movement, gaining momentum in cities like Lagos, is reshaping how Nigerians view self-care, but, as Alo?s experience specifically shows, it is also giving rise to new challenges in the personal lives of some individuals caught up in this evolving trend.

Many fitness influencers, athletes, and celebrities have multiplied on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, and X (formerly Twitter), publicly displaying their exercise regimens, fitness makeovers, and healthy lifestyles.

In January, an influencer marketing platform, Modash, identified 58 top fitness influencers on Instagram and X, with the majority of their audience in Nigeria.

These individuals are often viewed as role models who inspire their followers to work out, encouraging more men and women to hit the gym.

Healthy lifestyle modification

?Going to the gym helps with weight management and can fix posture problems, especially for those whose jobs require them to sit or maintain a position across the day,? a mental health expert and fitness enthusiast, Rasine Ibe, told Saturday PUNCH.

?It also helps grow muscles. There have been studies that have linked muscle growth to longevity, and some disabilities in the aged are a result of muscle loss. In addition to the physical benefits, going to the gym also provides stress relief through the release of endorphins (or feel-good hormones) that help you calm down and feel better,? Ibe explained.

Ibe further stated that regular gym sessions can help fight mood swings, anxiety, and depression and boost one?s confidence and emotional balance.

?It also gives you a sense of control and routine,? he added. ?Life can be unpredictable, but the gym gives you structure. Showing up, following a plan, and pushing yourself builds discipline and that give you a sense of control in chaos.?

For health or hookups?

Findings have revealed that not all individuals who frequent the gym are solely motivated by the desire to improve their physical health or mental well-being. For some young adults, the gym has also evolved into a space for building social connections, which in some cases lead to casual sexual encounters devoid of emotional commitment or long-term intentions, known as hookups.

?Most of the gym facilities in Lagos and even Abuja are dens for hookups,? a fitness enthusiast, who gave his name simply as Richie, said.

?Some gym instructors take advantage of ladies who are usually in long-distance relationships or marriages. At the same time, you find some hookup girls who frequent gyms to hunt for rich guys and sugar daddies. But they are adults; as long as there is mutual consent, I don?t see any problem with it.?

?Of course, things go down in gyms. Pun intended,? a banker, Moses Oyeleke, said. ?I use a particular gym on Lagos mainland, and there are always beautiful women to serve as eye candy each time. From the workout sessions, we socialise, exchange numbers, and roll.?

?My gym instructor has slept with almost every girl who comes to the gym in my estate,? an Ogun State-based affiliate marketer, Precious Eboh, claimed. ?Gym-goers sometimes speak about it in whispers, but I try to mind my business because I know why I go to the gym, but it?s not for hookups.?

A former staff member at a fitness centre in Lagos, who preferred to be called Collins, told our correspondent that he knew a gym instructor, a woman, who paired clients with hookup partners.

?Some clients came for workouts, others came for ?extras,? and this lady always knew who to pair with whom, male or female. If the price was right, she could sort you out. She was flirting with one of her clients, a married man in his 40s. Later on, they got down to it and had sex.

?She blatantly told him she cost more than the others because she was a manager and that if he needed something cheaper, she could get her colleagues for him,? the former worker disclosed.

Also sharing her experience, a fitness enthusiast, Pamela Mordi, told our correspondent that she had changed gyms due to unsolicited invitations from men to hookup.

She recounted how a trainer in a gym she used to visit in Oke Afa, Lagos, made lewd remarks about her body during a workout session.

?In another gym I used to visit, a lady told me details of sexual affairs going on between the trainers and some of the female clients,? Mordi disclosed.

Why casual sex occurs in gyms

In popular culture, a ?gym bro? is a slang term used to describe a man who is highly enthusiastic about working out, passionate about fitness, and often spends a significant amount of time at the gym.

Gym bros typically talk incessantly about fitness, gym routines, muscle gains, and protein shakes, often showcasing their weight-lifting feats on social media platforms such as TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook, where their fans eagerly follow their progress.

Health experts have stated that studies show all forms of exercise boost testosterone levels in men, significantly enhancing their sexual function. This increase in sexual vitality is believed to contribute to why gym bros often exude strong sex appeal? a trait commonly depicted in magazines, erotic novels, TV shows, and across social media platforms.

Some observers suggest that this heightened sexual energy may play a central role in the hookup culture that has become closely associated with the fitness scene across the country. An anonymous message sent to X user, Sir Dickson (@Wizarab10), on February 21 read, ?I just left the gym this morning and decided to write this. The number of married women from the gym who sleep around with fellow gym bros is uncountable. If I get married, my wife would gym at home because the gym is another sin spot.?

In one of the replies to the tweet, another X user, Ofu Aji Ana Eme Offload (@anasuachara), pointed out that sexual immorality is not confined to a particular place.

?I know of about three WhatsApp platforms strictly for married people where they sleep with each other. I also remember going to register at one of these roadside fitness centres, and the first question was, ?Oga, how do you like them??? he wrote.

?For me, I?ve never slept with any gym trainer, and none of them has ever made sexual propositions to me. It was my husband who encouraged me to register at a gym here in Lekki, and in the almost two years I?ve been going, I?ve felt better and more confident in my body.

?People go to gyms for different reasons. If you are not going for hookups, you won?t find hookups. Not every married woman or man is going there for sex, and if it?s extramarital affairs you are looking for, then you will do it anywhere, even in a religious place,? a fitness enthusiast, Mrs. Tope Falayi, told our correspondent.

Also commenting, another X user, Johnny (@Johnaugs_jp), blamed reports of hookups in the gym on husbands who fail to give their wives body massages, as fitness trainers do.

?You stand a chance of losing your woman if another man does that. A lot of men don?t even know much about their partner?s erogenous zones. If another man ever gets to it, your woman will develop affection for that man. Some hands are not supposed to touch your wife or girlfriend because they will trigger her,? he said.

A video clip posted on TikTok in September last year by @official_mrsoftcutz, and viewed by our correspondent, showed a male fitness trainer rubbing what appeared to be a vibrating dumbbell on a lady.

The lady, dressed in gym wear, was heard groaning as she lay on a green rug while the trainer used a dumbbell massager on her pelvic region, focusing particularly on her genital area.

Commenting on reports of gym hookups, a psychotherapist and founder of Highfoster, Vincent Ehindero, explained that attractiveness and body physique are two factors that make gym centres hotspots for casual sexual liaisons.

He noted that for a man, the gym is one of the places where he could touch a lady?s body under the guise of ?helping out with workouts or exercises,? and the lady would most likely consent.

?Lots of gym bros know this. Some of them use touch when guiding these women through exercises or gym equipment. Touch is a major way of stimulating sexual feelings.

?At that point, when a woman is working out and a man moves his muscular body close to her to assist with exercises, the woman may feel intense emotions toward him, especially if he has attractive facial features,? Ehindero said.

He further clarified that men are generally attracted to women who take care of their bodies, adding that gym-goers often wear fitted clothing that accentuates their feminine physical traits, naturally drawing the attention of gym instructors.

?They will likely approach women under the pretense of ?helping them out,? but this is where they use gradual touch and words to build up their motives over time.

?Married men don?t gym as much as single men, unless they had an existing gym culture before marriage. For the gym woman, sexual fantasies often arise after being continuously exposed to the ?ideal? men in the gym. For men, it?s mostly activated through direct relationship building and bodily contact over time,? Ehindero added.

Transactional sex

Findings by our correspondent revealed that while some fitness instructors maintain a ?gym bro? image, behind the scenes, they rely on hookups for economic sustenance.

Several gym instructors, who asked to remain anonymous, admitted that although hookups were not officially encouraged, they did engage in them for the right price.

?Yes, it happens,? a gym instructor, Bolaji Ajao, said. ?But the thing is, I don?t have sex for free. I don?t do it with my clients who come for workouts either. That?s my principle. When I post my workout or dance videos on Instagram, women come to my DM. If they can afford the fun, we?re good. It?s no big deal.?

On his part, a club manager in Abuja, Charles Aneke, explained how he began his career as a part-time bouncer and fitness trainer. However, after discovering a niche market in hookups, he expanded into coordinating male and female escorts to connect with interested clients.

?Even when I was a bouncer, women would publicly walk up to me at events and touch my chest and say ?hmm,? and I knew exactly what that meant. Some would send their drivers or personal staff with notes containing their phone numbers or hook-up codes, or they would ask for my account number,? Aneke disclosed.

?I get lots of messages from ladies on my Facebook and Instagram almost daily,? a popular fitness trainer, Jude Onuoha, told our correspondent. ?Some of them are married, while others are single. I don?t discriminate, as long as they can pay well for my services. Having a hot body makes you a hot commodity; many people will want a taste of you, whether they?re straight or ?bent.??

Commenting on the dynamics of male sex work, educationist and podcaster, Daniel Adisa, noted that some gym instructors build their entire lives around fitness as a cover for sex work.

?Some of these guys position themselves in the gym for sex work, and that?s something people don?t understand about male sex work. It?s usually very subtle, perhaps more subtle than that of women. Male sex work isn?t typically an online thing, and even when it is, the men usually go through a medium or pose as masseurs.

?You find a lot of gym guys who offer massages and charge ridiculous amounts for it, but that?s because it?s not just a massage; it often has a ?happy ending? tied to it for most of their clientele.

?Many of these gym bros are also on TikTok Live, flexing their muscles for pay, and that?s usually their entry into male sex work.

?Many of them go to the gym because of the aesthetics of their bodies, rather than for physical health reasons. They want to impress girls but quickly learn that other men are also impressed with their looks,? Adisa explained to our correspondent.

A gym bro, who preferred to be called Nonso, revealed that although he is heterosexual, he receives numerous private messages from men requesting sexual affairs whenever he posts stories or video reels on Instagram.

When our correspondent viewed his Instagram stories on Thursday, they featured the Abuja-based graduate in various poses, with some showing him dancing provocatively.

?I have my rules,? Nonso noted. ?I only dance to entertain, and I send them nudes after they pay. I don?t meet them for sex. I?ve had lots of men asking to lodge me in hotels, but I don?t roll that way. I only do women.?

Another fitness enthusiast who went by the name Justin told our correspondent that he had to clarify on his Facebook account by pinning a post stating he was not into men due to the frequent messages he received whenever he posted his workout videos.

?I respect their sexuality, but the propositions are never-ending and, in some cases, insane. Some of them are influencers on other apps too, and I can?t reveal their names,? he said.

Conversely, a source who claimed to have had affairs with some gym bros described them in negative terms.

?Most will tell you their price immediately before anything. They are so greedy and self-entitled. The last one I met, I eventually had to block because he was always begging for money or data. They behave like they were specially made for women. I now prefer non-muscled guys,? the source said.

?Avoid distractions in gyms?

In an effort to curb inappropriate behaviour, the manager of a popular fitness centre in Ajah, Lagos, who requested anonymity, explained that they had implemented rules about appropriate clothing in the gym.

?We want to create a welcoming and respectful environment for all our members. But despite the efforts of the management, the trend shows no signs of slowing down. People are using the gym as a way to meet new people and have fun, and as long as they?re not disrupting someone else?s workout, I don?t see the harm,? the manager said.

Speaking to Saturday PUNCH, actor and fitness enthusiast, Henry Blaise, pointed out that the gym is full of distractions, some of which, he said, were often sponsored by ladies who come to the gym.

?The level of distractions in the gym can prevent you from meeting your gym goals. From unnecessary discussions to overtly revealing gym wear, gossip, flirting, and more. We all have different reasons for going to the gym, and for some people, it?s to socialise and hook up.

?I prefer working out when the gym is less crowded. I just want to go in, run my routines, and leave. To avoid getting distracted, wear earphones. That way, you don?t get to hear all the side talks and unnecessary discussions. It?s okay to socialise, but it shouldn?t be at the expense of your goals,? he advised.

The content creator further advised people who visit the gym to set time limits for their workout routines.

?If you?re there for a three-hour session, then take it seriously once you get there. Don?t get sexually tangled up at the gym because it?s not a place for that. Now, people will wear whatever they choose to wear to the gym, but you should be disciplined and not be carried away by what you see,? Blaise added.

Meanwhile, Alo, who was mentioned earlier in this report, sent his workout photos to the reporter, showcasing his progress. He shared that he now makes it a point to visit the gym every weekend, not just as a means of combating boredom, but also to sculpt and strengthen his body.

?At first, it wasn?t easy because of body pains, but now my body has adjusted. Hopefully, I will soon find a good partner to work out with,? he said. (Saturday PUNCH)

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