By ADAORA EMEHEL

Experience is alleged to be the best teacher, but it is said that wise people learn from other?s experiences and mistakes. If you say that I was not wise I would not dispute it because rather than learn from my father?s words, ?that regardless of whoever you are dealing with, as long as money is involved, make sure to enter the business with the kind of money you can let go when the chips are down?, I decided to learn at the forefront in the class the experience My lesson has also equipped me to add to my fathers saying, ?if it becomes necessary to part ways with an amount of money you cannot overlook, draw up a contract that is acceptable for both parties and ensure that there is a legal backing?.

Sometime in 2016 a very close friend of mine was in a fix and needed financial help to pay for his house rent. I assumed he was going to be true to his words and pay back the loan in 2 months time like he promised. Guess what! I got that money more than 5 years later and in bits. Of course, the purchasing power was no longer the same and the value had well been depreciated. We all know the speed with whichh inflation happened in Nigeria between those years. Well back to my story. Within those years of trying to get the money back, I had threatened, reported to his office, to his pastor, and to everyone who knew us. At some point it became embarrassing, I really needed the money, and I guess he felt it was something I could overlook. Our relationship was the deciding factor in lending that money, however what I didn?t realise but learnt the hard way was that whenever money is involved, the likelihood that it would change people is inevitable.

We all get involved in deals by an agreement of some sort, however one thing Nigerians must learn is to put agreements on paper other wise known as contracts. The western world has gone ahead of us in this regard, and they draw up contracts for the minutest of things between two people. While we casually stroll into any random hair salon, bearing in mind factors like proximity and cost for a hairdo, you must a sign contract before anything is done on the hair just for eventualities in the west. Verbal contracts as is common in Nigeria are the reason many Nigerians have been indicted in criminal cases and investigations, lost finances and properties without any insurance and in extreme cases lost their lives. We have heard stories of people providing shelter to friends or family members only to end up being evicted from the house, cases of family members overseas sending money back home for the acquisition and development of real estate only to come back to nothing or the estate in another?s name, what of Mercy Chinwo Blessed and Ezeetee Global? None of us know the details of what happened between both parties, it is however obvious that the relationship was once sweet but has now gone sour to the point of lives being threatened. Had Mercy insisted on having a copy of the contract before commencing any project, there wouldn?t be any need to take the case to the court of social media.

Sometimes our minds can play tricks on us. Another friend of mine was so sure she knew the date one of her document was to expire, only to find out at the point she was to commence the renewal process 5 weeks prior to her assumed expiration date that it had expired a day before. Assumption they say is the lowest form of knowledge, so rather than assume you know something, refer to the source and confirm. This is the lacuna in Mercy?s side of the story. It will be safe to say that she assumed some details because how would she confirm the details of the contract she was working with when she didn?t have a copy? Maybe the doctored date was an honest mistake, maybe the details she worked with were an assumption, maybe just maybe her mind played the same trick it played on my friend.

Just like the severed bond between Mercy and Ezeetee, the price for the journey of the recovery of my money was the relationship that existed between both families. All these could have been avoided if there was an existing contract that all parties were comfortable with and had their own copies. Wise people learn from other people?s mistakes so allow us to be your Guinea pigs, learn from our mistakes.

Would you stop lending help when needed? Absolutely not. However, if you must, remember to give as much as you can let go, otherwise keep the ancient Chinese proverb in mind, the faintest ink is better than the greatest memory. Put it on Paper and make sure to have your own copy.

?Adaora Emehel sent in this piece from Astana Kazakhstan and can be reached via emeheladaora@gmail.com

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