By CHIDINMA EWUNONU-ALUKO

Older married women have been advised not to allow travelling abroad to care for their grandchildren to break the union they had enjoyed over the years with their husbands.

Pastor Simeon Akanji of the Potters House Christian Mission, Ibadan, gave the advice in a Family Service organised by the Trinity Council Mission in Ibadan on Sunday.

Akanji, the guest minister at the special service, was addressing the increasing scenario where older men are left alone in the country on the grounds of their wives travelling abroad to raise their grandchildren.

According to him, the husband and wife are meant to grow together and be able to let their children know they cannot separate them.

“If the children have this knowledge, they will find it difficult to introduce the idea of ‘let mummy come and let’s leave baba behind in Nigeria’.

“Having to travel to raise or care for the grandchildren is not an excuse for separation,” he said.

Akanji berated the situation where a 70-year-old man would be seen struggling in the kitchen because the children had invited his wife over to care for their grandchildren.

“At that age, if the man is not helped, he could be tempted into sinning with the opposite sex, especially with younger ones,” he said.

He cited an example of a family where the mother insisted that if the father was not travelling with her, she wouldn’t leave him behind.

“The woman told her daughter that ‘If you are not going to give visa to me and my husband to come together, then leave me alone; take care of yourself over there’.

“Eventually, the daughter agreed. She spoke to her husband, and they made arrangements that her father and her mother should come together,” he said.

He, therefore, counselled that if the woman must travel at all costs, she should give adequate consideration to the husband.

“For God’s sake, let her not leave baba behind to start all over again.

“And I say that the graph of life is both parabola and hyperbola. So, where they began is where they will still come back to. They started as two, they will still end up as two,” he said.

The cleric also advised couples not to allow third parties to tamper with the oneness of the family.

“Perhaps, they came in to settle a crisis, once it’s been resolved, they should withdraw and allow the couple to come together as one,” he said.

On the ‘japa syndrome’ commonly experienced among younger couples, he advised they tread with caution.

“Actually, the economic situation of this country has created lots of challenges at home, and it is seriously affecting families.

“But how do we manage it so that we can fulfil the instruction and the injunction of the word of God that we read and that says they must be together?

“Although the Bible says no man should separate them, we are now looking at situations such as economic stress in the country and various challenges forcing many people to travel out.

“Sadly, separation creates vulnerabilities just as in the days of Adam and Eve where a little separation created a loophole for the serpent to penetrate through Eve into their home.

“I, therefore, advise young couples to ensure they are being led to travel by God,” he said.

According to him, God is able to complete whatever He initiates.

‘Having prayed, they should also make arrangements such that the two of them can go at the same time, and if it is only one that will go, it requires wisdom.

“Wisdom in the sense that there should be an agreement that if things do not go as planned in the UK or wherever he has travelled to, then let him return home to stay together with the spouse he has left behind.

“It’s a serious challenge, for even if it is the wife travelling first, the truth of the matter is that coping alone in a strange land is always a difficult situation.

“To avoid this separation, let them pray and know whether it is the Lord leading them to go. If it is not the Lord, they should not allow circumstances to push them to travel,” he said. (NAN)

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