I have met many wealthy men in the course of my work. Just the other day, I was regaling a few close friends of how my interview with American billionaire David Rockefeller in Nigeria got me my first US visa. This happened in – of all places- far-away Trinidad where I went to cover the carnival and decided on the spur of the moment to come home through New York. Just my photograph with Rockefeller did it for me at the US embassy. I found Rockefeller a simple, affable personality. My first trip to the UK was also made possible by one of the wealthiest men in Scotland at the time. I had interviewed him when British Caledonia Airways was planning to come to Nigeria and I was pleasantly surprised when my name was on the list of those to make the inaugural flight. I didn’t even have a passport at the time and General Joe Garba who was then the External Affairs Minister had to come to my rescue after making fun of me that with all my larger than life image – the media does that to you – I didn’t even have a passport! Speaking of flights, I once flew in Mai Deribe’s private jet in the early 80s and had lunch with him alongside some top political and business heavyweights of that era. It was my first time sitting barefooted around a low table laden with various mouth-watering dishes. Mai Deribe was easily one of the richest Nigerians of his generation. But he chose, as much as possible, to fly under the radar. He neither granted interviews nor lived on the pages of the newspaper. His was an opulent but understated lifestyle.

But understated is not a word one would use for the lifestyle of M.K.O Abiola. He neither flew under nor above the radar. He flew in the full glare of it! You always knew when Abiola got to a place because a buzz would follow him that would electrify the place. And no matter how large or impersonal this place was, he would somehow personalize it. Of all the wealthy men of his era, he was probably the one I was closest to. He was warm, witty and extremely generous. He once told me that he was not the wealthiest Nigerian, but good-luck to those who chose to keep their money in the bank or under the bed. As far as he was concerned, it is only what you spend that is yours. And he did spend his money on people and causes he believed in.

Last month, a Nigerian billionaire decided to spend her money on people and a cause she believed in. She reportedly spent a million dollars – easily over a billion Naira at today’s exchange rate – in the petit island of Grenada, to celebrate herself with her friends on her 50th birthday. All hell has since broken loose. I have not read every line of the bitter criticisms against her but none of what I read revealed a scammer, a drug dealer or a thief who dipped her hand in the public treasury. You and I might not have approved of her lifestyle and how she chose to spend her money, but it was hers to earn and therefore hers to spend. Billionaire Femi Otedola also took some flak when he hired a super-luxurious yacht to celebrate himself on his 60th birthday. It was one act of extravagance I have seen- to which he is entitled- in the several years I have watched the growth of this man who is easily one of the biggest philanthropists in the country. The point is that many of those criticizing them would probably do worse if they somehow came into money. Some of these critics would go all the way – including borrowing- to give their daughter’s hand away in grand style or give a befitting burial to a deceased mother. Which prompts the question; what would you do if you were in their shoes as a billionaire?

Between the extremes of a Kashoggi or a Trump, two people who believe in the glitter of a flamboyant lifestyle and a Buffet who lives almost like a skimp or Hughes who became a hermit, lie most of the world’s billionaires with their different idiosyncratic lifestyles. Their paths to wealth coupled with their personalities, largely determine these lifestyles. Which probably explains why elite athletes, entertainers and politicians are generally more flamboyant while business entrepreneurs and investors are more tight fisted. History is replete with people who give billions away to charity. One of such people was asked why he allowed himself to drop out of Forbes list of billionaires. His retort was that he didn’t come to the world to be on anybody’s list but to make an impact. And speaking of impact, no one can deny Bill Gate’s impact around the world especially the Third World while living a modest lifestyle. An article I read decades ago in Time Magazine has helped shape my view about wealth. It said after a particular threshold, more wealth would make very little difference to the life of the owner except to feed their ego and insecurity. It is with this in mind that I pity those lucky enough to change lives and society for good but decide to choose wealth acquisition over an impactful life. How much can one eat? How many beds can anybody sleep on? How many clothes can one wear in a lifetime? If we learnt anything from Covid19 at all, it was that your acquisitions meant very little at the end of the day. A couple of years ago, Elon Musk sold off his five luxury houses. Today, the world’s richest man lives in a two bedroom flat! Would you do that if you were the world’s richest man? It inconceivable for our nouveau riche but Musk must have come to the realization that he doesn’t need more than that to function optimally. Having houses in the capitals of the world or storing up a bevy of cars in the compound are among the most wasteful things any rational being can do in a world of glaring inequalities. But they are what our leaders indulge in.

So the young lady who decided to celebrate herself in such a lavish way can spend her money however and with whomever she chooses – I can’t claim not to have attended a birthday party on an island, or at what we call ‘destination’ parties in the past. Studies however have shown that those who indulge on themselves are trying to mask something; Inferiority complex? Insecurity? Emptiness? Unhappiness? In which case, they should be pitied rather than envied or even attacked. Secondly, studies have also shown that wealth in itself does not give happiness and that people are happier and more fulfilled when they share, especially with the needy. Nigeria is in dire straits with so much hunger in the land that it really is insensitive to flaunt wealth however acquired at this time. It could lead to untold consequences.

•Muyiwa Adetiba is a veteran journalist and publisher. He can be reached via titbits2012@yahoo.com

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