‘A Teenager In Love’ was a song many people all over the world in my generation related to. But it was also a timeless song all young lovers will probably always identify with. It was about the intensity of love. And the vulnerability of love. ‘One day I feel so happy. Next day I feel so sad. I guess I have to take the good with the bad. Each night I ask the stars up above. Why must I be a teenager in love?’ was the part that resonated with all young lovers irrespective of colour or race. But it is not always young lovers who can be intensely emotional. Older people also experience the rollercoaster emotions of relationships. Several years ago, running into decades now, I was with a female Bank Manager trying to solve some banking problems. It was at the time Bank Managers were little gods that needed to be appeased. She was in her late thirties. I wasn’t much older. She was pretty and fashionably dressed. I was trying to concentrate on the reason I was in front of her – a coquettish divorcee, she was the type that put other thoughts in your head – when a good looking dude walked in. Her face lit up and her whole demeanor changed. He nodded pleasantly at me, and exchanged a few words with her before heading out. A younger woman in the room asked her if he was her boyfriend. She smiled in the affirmative. The younger woman had also noticed the transformation. It was that obvious. She became chatty and hinted they were meeting up for lunch. I knew it was a new love at its giddy, heady stage. I wonder how it all ended, with a heartbreak and a few tears thrown in? But what would life be without the tears and the heartbreaks? Like another song says, ‘it is better to have loved a little than not to have loved at all’.

The rollercoaster emotions of love are matched in intensity by those of sports. Sports is nothing without passion. Long after many adult males have passed being heartbroken by love, they are still experiencing the rollercoaster intensities of sports. They are still, if I may use the word, suffering heartbreaks. Many exhibit their emotions so openly that the mood in some homes depends on whether the team of ‘Oga at the top’ wins its weekend match or not. Many resort to drinking; either in celebration or as consolation. Many are expansive and generous in victory but sullen and mean in defeat. Many develop malaria-like symptoms and literally have to be treated with drugs. The higher the stakes, the deeper the joy of victory and pain of defeat. I suffered a lot in my younger days. I was shaking like a leaf in a storm the day Arsenal played its only Champion’s League Final against Barcelona. I have since tried to wean myself of the intense passion of my favourite sports and just enjoy the contests. But I soon realized that emotional investments are what make some games special. Much as I try, it would be difficult to watch Nigeria play at the World Cup or even AFCON and remain detached. So these days, members of my family look at what is on the screen before they engage in any conversation. If it is Arsenal playing, then they know well enough to defer any discussion except what requires a simple yes or no. Same if it is Nadal. Arsenal, for those who don’t follow the English Premier League, led the league for about ten months and capitulated in the last couple of weeks to the defending champions. You can imagine how I felt about Manchester City which at the time was in pole position to win an historic treble. – the Premier League, the Champion’s League and the FA cup. Few football fans outside City fans wanted that to happen. So I found myself supporting Manchester United against its Manchester rival in the FA Cup Final. This also brought me to the side of my nephew who is a staunch ‘ManU’ fan. Our efforts availed little except strengthening the family bond as City triumphed. My nephew swore he was going to be ‘an Italian’ for the next week so he could pray and will Inter Millan into victory in the Champion’s League Final about a week later. The gods of soccer didn’t hear his prayers as City won again and with the win, an historic treble becoming second of only two Premier League teams to achieve the feat. City fans were euphoric as they should be while the rest of us were left to lick our wounds. To complete my woes, Djokovic won his 23rd Grand Slam title at Rolland Garros a few days later. Not only did he eclipse Nadal’s 22, he had to do it on my idol’s favourite turf. How cruel is that? I still feel so bad that I really don’t know how I am going to enjoy Wimbledon with Nadal not playing and with the possibility of Djokovic winning a 24th title. I realise though that Nadal’s era has gone and if I am going to continue enjoying tennis, then I have to look for another talent to pass the baton to and invest my emotions on. For without the quickening heartbeat as my idol steps into court, without the wince as he makes a double fault, without the anguish of defeat and elation of victory, tennis for me would be bland. I need to ride on the crest of victory with my idol and sink to the low of defeat with him as well.

The third in my trio of intense passions is politics. Many leaders are loved passionately while others are hated with equal passion. Many would kill for their chosen candidates. Many supporters of Trump would die for him today if need be despite his many imperfections. And like love and sports, many would remain in denial long after elections have been won and lost. We recently had a presidential election that was keenly contested. Those whose man was declared winner would naturally be euphoric while those of the declared losers would naturally be crestfallen. The greater the emotional investment in their candidate, the deeper the heartbreak at his loss. At this point, no straw is too fragile to grasp; no position too tenuous to hold in support of that candidate. But as in love and sports, there is always a time to accept reality and move on. In love, we heal and plan for the next relationship. In sports we heal and plan for the next season. Why not in politics as we heal to plan for the next election?

This is to my old friend and classmate who has refused to accept the outcome of this election. He sees no good in any of the policy decisions of this administration and whines about almost everything. I understand the sequence of heartbreak, emptiness and denial, but his negative attitude won’t change anything. Except to lead him into delusion and depression which will hurt him further. There are many like him.

•Muyiwa Adetiba is a veteran journalist and publisher. He can be reached via titbits2012@yahoo.com

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