By ESTHER CHIZARAM NGELE

The lighting shot far across the sky before the thunderstorm rumbled, ear deafening. The chilled steel of the rail was very soothing to her touch. Exquisite dinner on the rooftop. Nature marvelled at Olachi as the tears rolled down her cheeks. She seemed to have let down her guard. "Oh the choice I made! Or just plain hormonal," she thought. She has broken the sacred oath by giving in to the feelings of her heart than the contents of her brains. But without love and affection, pleasing a man becomes robotic.

“Why are you this cold?” he asked as he paused, lips quivering. “It’s almost as if .....” He hesitated

“As if what?” she snapped

“It’s almost as if you’re empty on the inside; dead even, soulless, heartless ....,” he went on before he was interrupted by her chuckled as she clapped twice.

“Really? Well, we have your kind to thank for that!” she said.

“But I care for you darling, don’t l?” she said switching to a child-like manner as she placed a hand on his chest.

“Yes you do! So well that Hollywood needs you,” he said as he picked her hand and kissed it.

In the beginning was the war

“Foolishness is doing the same thing repeatedly, and expecting a different result.” At least that is one thing she and her pastor agreed on. Without trying to bully each other with screams from the pulpit and resentment in her heart. She had vowed to make the most out of her year here. To use and not be used. It was time to break free from her bubble. The bubble of consciousness which had been a cage around her. She was willing and ready to embrace risks and games. She has chosen to become a sugar baby!

She is supposed to be serving her fatherland. But this land has done nothing but milk her of her youth and vigour. Now she is on a mission. And one mission only; to reap the fruits of her labour. She had tilled the ground with her obedience and faithfulness but somehow, it never yields. She takes one step forward to her dreams and several steps running from nightmares.

Patience is a virtue, yes. But it is also an arrow of regrets waiting to hit her by eighty. Strike while the iron is hot or spend decades trying to reheat it. They say you regret the things you didn’t do than the things you did. How would you know, if you never bothered to try?

The fear of the consequences of our actions, and sermons on holiness; what God wants and the ideologies of karma, has formed a strong cord of restraints. You obey in the hopes of a crown of glory.

But that’s the thing she would never understand. Especially, each time she sees her pastor gallop down the aisles with entourage escorting him out like a hero after each sermon. The congregation with bedazzled gaze as they watch this oracle or better still, celebrity who has drawn their sedated consciousness to the holiness that they were paying for.

If there were no hopes for greater reward tomorrow, would they really care? If they fear of burning in hell was not a given, how righteous would you be? Don’t worry about the judgment, let God be the judge of that, she thought.

She made eye contact with Pastor Jonah as he swaggered out the doorway. But she was quick to fix the sinister smile on her face. He had a victorious look on his, as he walked by.

“They that walk like Him, shall be like Him. That’s just a positive walk. Pure charismatic and courage.” She cautioned herself for nursing the sinful thought that pastor Jonah was arrogantly living his best life. Hypocrite! She cussed silently.

Gender differences and expectations

“Men are predators! Leave that thing. They will always find something bad to say about their wives as their reason for being a scum,” Folashade was saying.

“Right?” Hafsat said, more like a question than an affirmation.

“See this one!” Folashade said as she motioned with her hand. “I’m telling you!” she added as she lowered her voice to answer Olachi who greeted the girls before slumping into her bed.

“How was church today? Hope you prayed for us?” Osas asked?

“I prayed for everyone,” she answered as she pulled off her wig. She’s had an earful and was not going to entertain Shade’s revelations on the ways of men. She picked up her earpods and sealed her ears.

Each weekend in church, has become her own way of giving God a chance to redeem her perishing soul before she finally grows horns.

Being asethetically pleasing is a full package most girls dont know how to explore. Or maybe they just dont want to. Maybe because of the fear of being label a “gold digger” or worse, a prostitute.

But a more vital point is having the femininity. In other to harness the opportunity that good looks brings. Beauty attracts, but the brain house is what keeps the attention. The brain comes with character, charisma, charm and poise of femininity. Being docile yet focused.

A feminine woman is a powerful woman. She has no business with being equal to a man. This is because, she understands she is naturally way ahead. If she can wield her powers, she becomes limitless. The fact that you are perceived weak, is an advantage to shine.

The society may seem deteriorating, but who is society, if not men and women alike? Struggling where not necessary. Leadership is servanthood glorified. Allow a man to lead and make an obedient servant out of him.

Love and games

“Why do you do this?” he asked out of the blues.

“Do what?” she asked. He relaxed back in his chair and stare at her for awhile, before he spoke. “Roll with me. My kind. Married men?” Olachi seemed flushed. Then slowly lowered her lips to her straw. She took a sip and replied.

“Because they have been tamed already by their wives. So it makes the work easier. Each married man has something he is looking for. Almost like something he is trying to prove. The archetype of woman in his fantasy. Using the image of a woman’s acceptance to motivate himself.”

There are different categories of these men,

The whiners, their favorite exclamation, “women!!!” the ones who lick the wounds inflicted by unappreciative wives by complaining how terribly they have been dealt with by their wives. But in trying to portray her as the she devil, they sound exactly like a nag. Whatever trouble a man experiences from a woman, is simply pointing to the problem in him. Likewise a woman! The problem she sees in a man, shows the inadequacies in her.

The faithful and cunning, he acts faithful and is clearly committed to his marriage, but would ravish their prey in the dark. “Don’t worry! Just be faithful!” These were his words to her once. She smiled at the idea of a married man, asking for the commitment of faithfulness from a single girl. He frowns at sexual immorality in public, but would stylishly eat the forbidden fruit outside of his marriage. Worse without any commitment whatsoever. He negotiates with “wanting a better future” for her. As buying her expensive things or even giving her money equals prostitution. A card which has long declined as she was her own motivation.

“You can’t reap where you did not sow, stingy bird!” As she watched her phone ring away.

The boastful, who clearly can’t end a sentence without talking about their accomplishments. Which is their strategic comments to lure their prey. They can't spend without expecting something in return. If they ever spend at all. Because the truth is, he doesn't have it. Just voicing out his dreams to his victim.

Then there is the elephant, who knows exactly what he is getting into. Treading on both holy and unholy ground with caution and respect. They love their wives, but also adores their stress relief package a.k.a sugar babies. They understand she is in for the treasure, and he, for the pleasure. A pleasure that regardless of how good looking the wife renders herself, she can never give. That ministry, is solely for the sugar babies. The tender naivety of a fresh succulent babe. That revitalizes, and makes an old man strong like a boy.

It is like a liquid gold. You pay heavily to purchase it, and luckily own the mine. Till age and repentance meets up on the girl and a junior colleague takes over while she marries or prays her way into it.

The both sexes need each other, and one sex need not struggle to become nor dominate the other.

Fredrick watched in silence, as she went on and on in her analysis of men.

The truth is, he has never been married. He wore the ring to cut his distraction to the minimum. The minimum who could care less if he was married or not. They just want a taste of the good life. And he has enjoyed the opportunity of being the hunter until now. He was in love with her. He sees her as his soulmate. And for a reason he could not explain, her escapades with men did not deter him. She was a girl who knew what she wants and would not let anything stop her. His kind of woman.

“I mean it Ola, I truly love you! You make fairytale seem real. Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife please?” Fredrick said on one knee.

•Esther Chizaram Ngele, a Nigerian Law School student, can be reached via <fab_esy@yahoo.com>

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