As di sisi change im clothe finish for inside my guonguoro, di next ting be say, e come bring out lipstick, pancake and mirror.

Before you say Oga MAT, di sisi don turn im face to Egugun. If you no look am well well, you go even tink say na Ekpo Calabar you see. By dis time, we don pass Iyana Oworo, dey face Alapere.

Di sisi come tell me say make I dey fire my guonguoro, say e don late for night duty. E say if I no move fast, all im clients fit go finish for Opebi and Allen Avenue.

I look time, 9.30 O’clock pm in di night don nack. Na so I begin match trottle ti-ti-ti-ti.

I come take style ask am which kind night duty e dey do. Di sisi ask me weda I jus come for Lagos. E say if I wan know di night duty wey e dey do, make I branch any nice hotel wen we reach Ikeja.

Small time, I feel two hand for my back. I look mirror, I see say na di sisi wan begin dey do touch touch for my body make my kini wake up. I talk am for my mind say, I don enter am dis night.

Di next ting be say, di sisi move from back seat to front, while I still dey fire di guonguoro dey go o! Tori Olorun!

As e jus siddon for front, e carry im mini skirt up, e say make I bring my right hand, I obey. E carry my hand, put for on top im kini, den use im left hand to untie di rope of my shokoto trouser, and begin take my kini play Akwete. Olorun shanu mi o!

E say any ting wey e dey do with my kini, make me sef dey do di same ting for inside im own kini. I no know wen I begin speak Latin: Totoriscomamapussi!

Na so we dey do ise ku se till I nearly drive go jam NEPA poll for dat 7-Up road wey dey go Alausa Secretariat.

Di ting come sweet me no be small. E come be like say dem put fire for my body. As di two both of us dey work with hand dey go, na im I come dey tell am say, “Stop am, I like am. Stop am, I like am...!” like record wey don crack.

I say make I kukuma park for roadside for di real action, make I no go come peme.

As I park, na im di sisi say make I off all di light for my guonguoro. I obey kia kia. Na only dat Alausa street light come dey on, nobody fit see us inside

Dat time everyting for my body don stand paparapa like Standard Bank, and na so all my body come dey shake like Shakespeare.

I come manage tell am say, all dis one wey we dey do so , I no know am, e no know me. I tell am say my name na Oga MAT. Di sisi tell me say im name na Chidinma.

Ewo! Chi wetin? Olorumaje! Na so everyting for my body come die patapata.

Di sisi surprise gan. E ask me wetin happen. I tell am say I wan piss for gutter. E say okay, make I do quick come back.

Na so I go for gutter, go do like say I dey piss. As I come back, I tell am make im sef go piss come, so we go begin do di real ting.

Na im di sisi bend down for gutter begin piss.

Quick, quick, I jump inside my pilot seat, open ignition, start engine, put am for gear one. Come see me dey fire dey go like mad man.

Chidinma ko, Ataga ni.

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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