Na so me and Sikiratu tanda – mouth to mouth, tongue to tongue, body to body, hand in hand – wen our union Treasurer, Idowu come see us for dat dark corner outside Madam Shine Buka.

Idowu shock to see me and Sikiratu in dat mood. Idowu say everybody don find me tire. E say we don ready to go, and our chairman, Jimoh say we must go back to our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge in convoy as we take come. And from dia, everybody go find im way.

Di next ting be say, all our union member dem wey come enjoy dat evening for Madam Shine Buka come dey blow dia taxi horn pom, pom, pom! Na me dem dey wait for so o.

I begin rush to go meet dem, no time to say good night to Sikiratu wey don charge my body finish like motor battery.

I jump inside my guonguoro, and all of us move in convoy, jus as we take come.

Wen we reach our garage, we all tank Jimoh for making all of us feel fine with orisirisi pepper soup and drinks. People like Emeka, Akpan and Mutiu don high patapata. I come talk am for my mind say na only God go make dem drive dia taxi reach house safe dat night.

I chuk head put for road, begin dey go my house for Abule Egba.

As I jus cross railway line after Ikeja Council, enter for Agege Motor Road, na im one bobo stop me.

I march break fiiaamm. Di bobo say make I carry am for drop go Meiran. I see say na my route. I tell am my price, e gree. I signal am make e enter.

I no drive reach di next bus stop wen hot shit begin worry me. E come be like say di ting wan comot for my nyansh. Tori Olorun!

Na so I tight my nyansh, den come begin roll for my pilot seat. See di kind sweat wey come full my body from head to toe like say I jump inside river. I no fit bear am again.

I park for road side. I beg di bobo make e no vex, say I wan shit.

As I come down, I see say no place to hide and release di ting. If you see as I waka dat time, hmm, you go pity me gan.

Na im di bobo bring out black nylon from inside im bag, and give me. E signal me make I release inside di nylon.

Quick, quick, I collect di nylon, open my guonguoro passenger front door to cover me small, I pull down my dross and shokoto trouser. And na so di ting jus begin rush out like tap.

I come talk am for my mind say, see wetin Madam Shine hot pepper soup do me. True, true, awoof dey run belle.

Wen I release am finish, I wan find one corner of gutter dump am, na im my passenger shout, “No, no, no! Don’t throw it away, you may need it again soon, and I have no other nylon to give to you!”

So, e mean say me and dis bobo and my hot shit go dey inside dis guonguoro and di bobo no go mind di smell? Which kind nice bobo be dis?

We no move reach anoder bus stop, di same ting happen again.

Before we reach Meiran wey di bobo wan drop, I don release four times, and di nylon nearly full trowey.

Wen we reach Meiran bus stop gan gan, di bobo say make I stop make e come down.

I clear for road side. E open di back door wey e siddon, e bring out money from wallet and pay me. I tank am well well for everyting.

As I wan move, di bobo bring out im hand. I tell am say e no get change nau, dat na di money wey we gree na im e pay me.

Di bobo say no be change, na di nylon wey e give me. I say shiooorr! I remind am say shit don full di nylon. Di bobo say e know, but e wan helep me trowey am.

Di next ting be say, e bring out $10 and show me. E say make I name my price. Olorun Oba o!

Na dat time I come look di bobo well well. Im hair, shoe, jeans, top, necklace, wrist watch, finger ring, ear ring and nose ring, all show say dis one na original Yahoo Plus. E wan use my shit make money!

I come show am say, before im mama born am for dia village, I don dey do dis taxi driver work for Lagos.

And na so di bobo tanda dey look as I revise, turn, set and begin fire my guonguoro dey go my house. Olori bruku ni yin!

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.

Update news