My wife Bose dey always talk say na ashewo work I dey do. But me I sabi well well say ashewo no be work, so how taxi driver work go come be ashewo work?

If you say taxi driver work na ashewo work, wetin you go come call doctor work wey be say, na doctor dem dey see and touch di inner inside of woman boysquarter pass im husband sef?

Wetin you go call tailor work wey be say, tailor dey use style touch all di ogbonge part of woman body in di name of measure.

I gree say all dis sisi wey full for Lagos road dey always try to tempt di son of man, especially if you carry di one wey no get money to pay, and e go come be for night again!

But me, I dey try to make sure say I no fall for dia wayo. I no lef my village for Ogbomoso come find woman upandan for Lagos. Na condition make me come.

Na all dis ting dey for my mind yesterday morning. I look time, I see say time don nack 5 o'clock a.m. in di morning.

I say make I jus dey for bed small, like one hour, before I comot for bed go begin prepare...

I drive enter our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge. Di first person I see dat morning na Sikiratu.

As I jus park my guonguoro and come down, Sikiratu run come meet me. I ask am why e come siddon for garrage dey wait for me dis kind early morning. I ask am weda e no wan go work today.

Sikiratu say I too dey ask plenty question at di same time. E say make we enter inside my guonguoro first. E open di door, enter for passenger front seat. Me sef open my door and enter.

Sikiratu tell me say, e come dis early morning so dat I no go carry passenger comot before e reach garage, and e no go come see me.

E say today o, na im day, I no go carry any passenger. E say na me get am today, and na im get me.

E say make we begin drive go wia only me and im go dey togeder and enjoy oursef.

I no jus understand wetin dis buka girl dey talk. I lef house come to work, dis girl dey tell me say make I no work today. Tori Olorun!

Wetin my family go come chop? Wetin I go tell Bose and my two woman pikin - Bisi and Funke – wen I reach house for night with empty pocket?

E come be like say Sikiratu sabi wetin I dey talk for my mind. E open im hand bag, bring out one fat bundle of new naira notes and put am for my hand. E put im hand for my leg, smile and look my eye ti-ti-ti-ti. I no know wen I open ignition, start engine, put am for gear and move.

I drive enter one short time joint like dat for Anifowoshe, near railway. I book room for di hole day. Den, me and Sikiratu hold hand like new husband and wife and enter di room.

As we jus enter, Sikiratu push me, and di two both of us fall yakata for bed.

Before I know sef, Sikiratu don loose di rope for my shokoto trouser. E turn im back and say make me sef helep am open di zip for im clothe.

Sikiratu quick, quick remove im bra trowey fiiiaamm. Wen I see di two apple wey stand like Standard Bank for im chest, I come dey shake like Shakespeare. Na so I come call am, “My S-i-k-i B-a-b-e!”...

I come hear person tap me for my leg and say,

“Baba Bisi! Baba Bisi!! Day don break fimish. Shey you no wan go work today? Which one you lie down here dey lick your mouth and dey shout My Siki Babe? You must tell me dat girl wey you meet for dream.”

Olorun Oba o!

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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