As a youngster growing up in the 80s, I used to marvel at the severe self-discipline or puritan way of life of the members of the Deeper Life Bible Church. Their no sex before marriage, no alcohol, no cigarette, no radio and no television, which was unlike what my Yoruba brothers refer to as the jaiye, jaiye or fun-and-pleasure loving life of the Anglican and Catholic churches.

However, with penis enlargement becoming the current fad in the world and a lot of youths falling heads over heels to be counted, I now think differently.

My reason is because good sex is a must in long term relationship. So, the youths who are enhancing their "weapons of mass destruction (WMD)" should have it at the back of their minds that just as the male organs are in sizes, so also are the female organs.

In fact, just as the men and women come in different shapes and sizes, so it is not every woman that is equipped with the capacity to welcome "hugely endowed" men.

On one hand, I have heard of a woman who married with no pre-marital sex complain just few months after her wedding that her husband's organ could only scratch her surface and that she could not continue in a marriage that she would never experience sexual satisfaction till death.

On the other hand, I have also heard of a woman who divorced her husband just because the size of his organ was so big that it hurts her any time they made love.

It was therefore, to ensure a harmonious sexual relationship that an Indian writer named Vatsyayana about 2000 years ago came up with what he called Kama Sutra Manual of Love.

I want this book to serve as a guild to men looking for women and women looking for men for marriage or relationship.

On the chapter on sexual union, he divided men into three categories, according to the size of their lingram (penis)

He also did the same for the women based on the depth of their yori (vagina).

For the men, Vatsyayana said that a man can be a hare (short), a bull (medium) or a horse, that is (longer or hugely endowed).

For the woman, he said that a woman can be a deer, that is (not too deep) a mare (deep) or female elephant, that is deeply holed.

He therefore, declared that the outcome of sexual satisfaction between a man and a woman can be determined based on these categories.

Explaining further, he said that for better sexual union, a hare (short or slightly endowed) man should go with a deer (short or not deep) woman, a bull (semi-endowed) man should go with a mare (deeper) woman, while a horse (hugely endowed) man should go with an elephant (deeply holed) woman.

He called this three unions equal or perfect unions.

According to him, if a horse man penetrates a deer woman, that is if a man who is hugely endowed penetrates a woman with a short vagina, it would end up in hurt and pain to the woman.

On the other hand, he said if a hare man penetrates an elephant woman, that is if a man with a short member penetrates a woman with a deeper vagina, he would end up just scratching her surface and in both cases, there would be no satisfaction.

From the above my dear young man, before you walk into the next penis enlargement clinic, know it that you are not going for a master key, that conditions also apply.

Have it on your consciousness that it is not every female that fantasizes for hugely endowed men. Some hate and cringe at big sizes because it hurts and pains them.

So, if you want to have a long and happy relationship, make sure that you look and get your own kind.

By this I mean that if you are a horse man or that you have transformed yourself into a horse man, you must look for an elephant woman.

You cannot go and keep on enlarging, thinking that you are a universal donor. It does not work that way.

For the lady, just like the man, if you want to have a long term relationship, before you say "I do" and sign the dotted lines, it is also advisable to look for your own size below. If you are a deer woman, please look for a hare man and if you are an elephant woman, look for a horse man.

However, if dogma or love makes you to want to leap before you look, you are warned that you may be leaping into a life of misery and we all know that most times, love is not always enough when reality begin to stare us at the face.

You have signed on a life of instead of sex becoming the greatest pleasure (Harekrishna),it would become the greatest pain.

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