“Alright, bye! Love you!” Anna Maria said as she hurried out of the apartment; dragging her suitcase along.

“Have a safe trip!” Cynthia yelled after her.

Being an air hostess could be an ideal job for some. But for Anna Maria, it was an escape plan. She knew she was running from something, but didn’t know just what it was. She was making a decent living for herself; but there was a yearning: A sense of purpose that was yet to be met.

The previous night while sitting on the kitchen table with her roommate and best friend Cynthia, she recounted the conversation they had had.

Clutching the tea cup with both hands, she asked Cynthia: “Do you think I’m boring?”

“What?” Cynthia asked in utter bewilderment. “C’mon now! Don’t let that fool get into your head!” she added.

“I’ve always felt empty, deep inside. Like there’s a void I need to fill… it’s as if I need to be somewhere …,” Anna Maria went on.

“Yep!” Cynthia intercepted. “You need to get some sleep and park for your next trip t’morow!”

“I mean to be someone else, someone better than me,” Anna added.

“Girl bye! I wish I had your life. You just need to clear your head and land the next dude ASAP,” Cynthia said. “And you better flirt with them Business Class,” Cynthia teased with a wink.

The characteristics of a man, his divine calling and purpose cannot be measured by social standards. His chi is limitless even though he remains confined within a territory. His chi whose presence and strength is downplayed by his surrounding and customs remains seated within as a voice. A voice which only he, the chi’s host can hear.

It is that which compels. It seeks alignment with its divine purpose and rebels when fed the wrong diet. The poor diet of greed, deceit and the manipulative claws of rules and biddings. The voice in my head is not a trait of psychosis. That is my chi. My chi whose purpose and course is eternal beyond the body I wear.

The reward of science is often our souls’ foolery. Everything ought to be rational and have a logical explanation right? But what if they don’t?

Call it vibe, instinct, energy or even spirit! It compels! It’s been since the beginning: our watch board before science and religion.

“You can’t see us; no, you can’t see us, but we’re watching. We’ve been watching you since your assignment,” the voice echoed. “Who are you?” Anna Maria asked.

“We are you, our vessel; the extension that shall return.”

Anna scrunched herself tightly with her hands covering her ears. The echoes were beginning to make her dizzy. “It is the mandate! Our mandate!” the voice went on. “We’re here for you, for you Anna Maria.”

“Anna Mariaa! Anna Mariaaa! Anna Mariaaa! Cynthia called again, raising her voice the third time. Aaahh…! Anna screamed as she woke up.

“Pssst! Just the usual” Cynthia said standing by the door with her hand on the door-knob. She rolled her eyes at Anna Maria, shook her head and left.

“Girl needs a therapist asap,” Cynthia said to Bosco, her fiancé as she lounged beside him on the couch.

Cynthia has been dealing with Anna Maria’s nightmares for quite some time now. Anna Maria’s dreams were beginning to sound as the cliché of a “higher calling.” She talks in her sleeps and, certainly, believes she has a “higher purpose.”

“And what’s with this stupid chi thing she keeps mumbling about?” Bosco asked.

“She needs a man; that I can tell you! Or even a sexual healing,” he added and they both laughed. “Damn, she needs to get it together. I think it’s just the frustration kicking it,” Bosco was saying before Anna Maria walked silently to the kitchen. Bosco and Cynthia burst into laughter again. “Are you alright?” Cynthia asked cynically.

Anna Maria’s vacation to India was long overdue, though partly due to financial constraint. That was part of the reason she took the flight attendant job. It gave her the avenue to financial liberation.

Not to mention an opportunity to see the world from a bird’s perspective. She loved flying and visiting new places. Though she could never really explore the cities as the next trip was due the following day. But each trip came with the excitement to travel. It was as if she was on a quest. But a quest to be found by someone or something. Something bigger than her. Something which has been compelling her for each adventurew Which left her feeling disappointed each time the excitement was over. With this trip, she is determined to find her chi. Learn their language and be able to understand their biddings without an iota of doubt. This is self-liberation for her.

Once she was at Indira Gandhi International Airport in New Delhi, she threw her arms open in the air and smiled to the heaven. This feels like a homecoming. She was alive, she was here.

It’s been two days since her arrival and she was already settled and ready for her classes. She had signed up for the spiritual healing and Yoga classes. Her core was beginning to feel stable and ready to welcome the healing. The healing she so much yearned for.

The class began with spiritual cleansing and acceptance. It was as if she was making peace with her past. The past she has been trying so hard to escape from.

“You don’t have to wait for the stars to align, you’ve to align with them. They know your path more than you do….” Her interpreter was saying with the most beautiful thick Indian accent. Her instructor, a middle-aged man motioned for them to give thanks.

“Each chakra provides healing for the centre and, this in, turn brings healing to the mind,” her interpreter went on.

“I think I’m ready,” Anna Maria began. “Good!” the interpreter replied as they strolled along the Rishikesh beach.

It’s been quite an experience. She now had a good understanding of her purpose. The voices of her chi need not scare her anymore. She felt whole by this new sense of purpose. She was ready to conquer the world: Beginning with herself and her pride. She was ready to receive it all with an open mind. Certainly, you cannot give what you don’t have. But in other to receive, we must give. Give up the hurt, the greed and pain. Not trying to suppress our past and in the same token, not give it too much power over us; that we trade our tomorrow even before it comes.

Life is good when there is a purpose. When we are not thinning ourselves out for the now. But having a good understanding that nothing is ever given but that which compels.

Back at work, Anna Maria was more radiant. She had begun her holistic life coaching. She could not deny the love she feels for Van. The handsome bloke who would always lock eyes with her each time he flies with their airline. He has been asking her out and now she feels ready to receive this love, for she had given up the pain and hurt.

•Esther Chizaram Ngele writes from Enugu.

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