Dis weather sha, I no fit talk. But one ting be say, man body no be wood.

Di kind cold wey dey now since dis month show face, no be small ting o.

All di passenger dem wey dey hala me say my guonguoro no get A/C, dia mouth don dey for permanent position of shut up.

Instead, now dem go dey beg make I wind up small. If na passenger wey I like, I go wind up but if na di ones wey dey shakara tele tele, I go tell dem say my winder don kpafuka.

But some ogbologbo passenger dem dey o. No matter how cold catch dose one, dem go still use ogboju dey ask for A/C. Dat time I go do like say I no hear wetin dem dey talk. I know say wen dem talk sote mouth begin pain dem, nobody go tell dem to keep quiet.

Yesterday weather get as e be o. Everywia come dark patapata like say we dey for night. E come be like say rain wan fall, but e no gree fall.

Na im make all of us for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, no gree put im taxi for road. Una kukuma sabi as Lagos road dey be if rain jus drop small. Everywia go turn to River Niger.

All our union member dem dey find wetin dem go take warm dia body small.

Jimoh, our chairman take like 10 shot of “monkey tell”. Idowu, our treasurer collect like 5 satchet of dry gin for Mama Iyabode hand, plus cigar. Akpan open one full bottle of “Sapele Water” dey shack. Emeka jus go hide for one corner dey smoke wee wee.

Me, I no come know wetin I go take warm my body. And I no fit begin go take cold “My Usual” for Madam Shine buka for dat kind weather.

Na im I bring out my torch-light chinko phone for my shokoto trouser, begin call Sikiratu.

Sikiratu tell me say e dey on duty. I tell am say I know, but make e come quick quick, say I get important ting wey I wan discus with am jus for 5 minute.

E ask me say, shey di ting wey I wan discus weda I no fit talk am for phone. I tell am say no be phone matter, say na one on one talk.

Before I put back my phone for shokoto trouser, see Sikiratu appear for our garage.

I run to go embreast Sikiratu, e dodge. E ask me why I wan embreast am for dis Coro time? Sikiratu say before I fit embreast am, I must to go do test first to dey sure say I no get Coro.

I tell am say no wahala, say I go do di test tomorrow. I tell am make e go back to im work.

Sikiratu say e get wetin e wan make I give am, say e been wan come ask me sef today before I call am for phone.

I ask Sikiratu wetin e wan make I give am. E tell me say im phone get small troublem, e wan make I give am money to take go buy new phone, i-phone 6.

I ask am how much be i-phone 6, e say N75, 000 naira ONLY. I tell am say dat one na small ting. Sikiratu come give me one kind sweet smile like dat.

E begin tank me in advance, den come ask me which day I go give am di money.

I tell am say I go give am today today, but e must to go do test first, make I dey sure say Coro no dey for di hand wey e wan take collect di money.

If Sikiratu look small pikin with di kind eye wey e take look me, convulsion go catch dat pikin kia kia.

Yes nau, na draw game. No cheating.

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed

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