Posted by News Express | 25 February 2020 | 424 times
If no be becos of Arike wey make me stop for Standard 5 for di night school wey dey my village for Ogbomosho, run come Lagos, I know say I for go school well well and I for sabi book gan.
And to say I finish school, I for write all di orisirisi tings wey dey happen for Lagos inside one book, and sell di book even for America and London.
Every time of di day – morning, afternoon and night – orisirisi tings must happen for Lagos road, and na we taxi driver dey see am pass.
No place wey dis my guonguoro no dey reach for Lagos every day. Na im make dem dey call me Man About Town, Oga MAT for short.
See like di order day wey one passenger carry me for drop go Ikoyi. I take Maryland, enter Ikorodu Road to Fadeyi and climb dat bridge straight to Barrack bus stop, Stadium, Ijora Costain, Eko Bridge den to Leventis/Marina.
As we jus come down for dat bridge for Marina after CMS, to climb dat bridge wey go land us for Ikoyi, na im Go-slow come shele.
Na so we come dey go small small like snail. Wen we nearly reach di Ikoyi bridge, na im we come see wetin happen.
One bobo wear soja uniform with helmet for head like say e dey for war front. E hold horse whip for hand. Dis bobo jus dey rush one taxi driver with the horse whip, plus including dirty slap for face, ppoaarrhh, ppoaarrhh, ppoaarrhh!!!
Na so di bobo dey nack di taxi driver for head, hit am for belle and kick am for nyansh. Haba! Se di taxi driver kill person?
Small time, all of us taxi driver wey dey for dat road park and come down to know why dat bobo dey deal with our member like dat.
Wen I waka near, na im I see say na Jimoh, our branch chairman for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge. So na our chairman dis bobo dey whip, slap, kick and hit like amu robber? Olorun Oba o!
All of us taxi driver dem ask di uniform bobo wetin our chairman do. E say na im cause di Go-slow wey dey for di road. We ask am how, wen be say Go-slow full every wia for Lagos since wen Oga Sanwo-Olu ban Keke Marwa and Okada? We ask am say, if e see Boko Haram, weda e fit wait and deal with am like dat. Gun sef, e no hold.
Di bobo say make we no ask am nonsense question. E say if we ask am any stupid question again, e go bundle all of us go barrack now.
See dis small boy o. Who be im age mate for here? I tell am say becos e wear soja uniform no make am get power pass everybody o.
Di next ting, I hear ppossaarrhh for my face. Tori Olorun! Me?
I tell am say na me and im today. I say na me go comot dat uniform for im body today. After all, Abami Eda talk am tele tele say, weda na soja or olopa uniform, all na clothe and na tailor dey sew am.
Na so I grab am for im shokoto trouser and begin shout, “O ti pa mi o! Make una come helep me o! E don kill me o!”
Una kukuma sabi Lagos nah, kia kia, people don full every wia. Na so people dey curse am, dem dey ask wetin make dat kind small boy slap agbalagba like me.
Small time, soja dem don land for truck. All of dem carry gun.
Wen dem hear wetin happen, dem ask di bobo who im be. Di bobo say im name na Musa. Dem ask am which soja cantonment e dey for Lagos.
Di bobo begin do like deaf and dumb. E begin stammer. Na only once wey one soja take gun nyansh nack am for head, na im Musa talk say im no be soja, say im be Man O' War. Olorun Oba o!
Na so di soja dem beg all of us taxi driver make we no vex, say make we dey go our work. And na so dem bundle Musa put for dia truck, and begin face soja barrack for Obalende.
Make we jam again on Friday.
Tank you very much.
And tank you very, very much indeed.
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