NLNG Corporate Teamwork banner First bank FinTech summit Fidelity bank card banner Emerald Energy Institute Camano banner

Wahala dey!

By News Express on 20/09/2019

Gmail icon

Views: 431

People dey talk say dem get lucky but na for sisi matter my own lucky dey. And na im make my wife Bose dey always talk am say dis my taxi driver work na ashewo work. Se na my fault?

Na only Olorun know wetin all dis small, small sisi dem for Lagos dey see for dis my agbalagba face.

Our union treasurer, Idowu dey always ask me who be di Baba wey dey give me black soap wey  I dey use wash my face every morning before I come garage. But I dey tell am say I no get any Baba and I no dey use any black soap.

See like yesterday wey rain fall for Lagos like no man business,  I no fit take dis my guonguoro enter road becos of flood water wey turn every wia to Lagos lagoon.

Wen di rain reduce small, I tell Idowu say make I use style waka reach dat side near Airport Hotel. Idowu quick, quick sabi wia I wan go. E say e must to come with me. E say im know say I wan go take My Usual for Madam Shine buka. And na true Idowu talk. I tell am say oya nah, but make e hold im money o.

As me and Idowu jus enter Madam Shine buka, Sikiratu run come hold me, e troway one hot kiss for me fiiaam. And I catch am.

Before we siddon sef, Sikiratu don land me one bottle of My Usual – “Black September” a.k.a “24 Volt” orderwise known as “Odekun” or “Who Send You Come?”

Sikiratu ask Idowu wetin e wan take, Idowu say na “Monkey tail”. Sikiratu tell anoder sales girl make e go mix monkey tail for Idowu.

Na so Sikiratu siddon for my leg, dey rob my face. Come see as all di customer dem wey full dia dey look me and Sikiratu.

Na dat time sweet Madam Shine to call Sikiratu say make e go buy garri, cow leg, pomo and pepper for Ipodo market.

I no know say Madam Shine dey plan coup for Sikiratu. Sikiratu don tight face patapata but e no fit tell im madam say e no dey go.

Sikiratu say make I no go before e come back, I tell am say I dey. As Sikiratu jus turn im back, na so Madam Shine come meet me for wia me and Idowu siddon.

Madam Shine say “Oga MAT, why be say any time you come, na Sikiratu you go jus face?”

I ask am say na who again I go face. I say everybody for Ikeja sabi me and Sikiratu. I no talk finish, na im  Madam Shine sef siddon for my leg and begin rob my face, di same way  Sikiratu been do.

E order im salesgirl, Bukky make e serve me and Idowu second round plus including hot pepper soup. Who go reject dat kind ting for dat cold weather?

Madam Shine sef begin shack “Shine Shine Bobo”. Before me and Idowu finish our own, Madam Shine don finish six. Tori Olorun!

Di next ting be say, Madam Shine say make e go piss. As e jus turn im back, na so Bukky come siddon for my leg, e begin rob my face like im madam been do. Bukky carry my cup and empty everyting wey dey inside, one time! As im madam come back, Bukky disappear.

Madam Shine come siddon for my leg and begin dey rob my face again as e dey shack dey go, na im Sikiratu jus enter…

(To be continued)

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

Source News Express

Posted 20/09/2019 7:11:07 PM





You may also like...
Borno APC chairman’s 4-year-old son kidnapped

Kaduna dry port to create jobs, boost revenue,...

Runaway London killer nabbed in Nigeria

EFCC, ICPC asked to probe Gov. Ganduje bribe...

434 cholera cases recorded in Mubi, 13 victims...

Buhari marks 100 Days in office, urges judiciary...

FG, NLC to meet today over minimum wage...

Yudala spreads goodwill to all Nigerians

MTN delves into insurance business, eyes R270bn in...

Striking Abia Poly lecturers disrupt matriculation ceremony

Kanye West keeps fans guessing

Magu decries illicit financial flows, vote buying during...


Latest News Breaking: Chaos as Hong Kong's 'state of the union' is disrupted Minimum wage: FG, Labour shift ground Community sues Anambra Government, others for N5bn damages over land trespass Gunmen kill man, abduct 2 children in Kwali-FCT NIWA unmasks sea robbers’ hide-out in Lagos Buhari orders crackdown on inhuman Islamic schools Why FG stopped states from rehabilitating roads – Fayemi Sanwo-Olu re-orders Ambode’s 2019 Budget, seeks N250bn loan Minimum Wage: House of Reps moves to resolve Labour, FG impasse Court remands 3 in prison for impersonating EFCC, ICPC officials Cruel mistress burns housemaids with hot iron for not flushing toilet Gov. Okowa appoints 11 permanent secretaries


Most Read NUDE PHOTO OF OMOTOLA JALADE-EKEINDE surfaces online (550,889 views) Nigerian female sex addict opens up, says ‘I like it with both men and women’ (447,302 views) Shameless Genevieve Nnaji exposes breasts in public (394,802 views) Finally named: The full list of friends of Nigerian female sex addict who prowled Facebook (330,694 views) OLUMBA OLUMBA OBU (the one who called himself God) IS DEAD (298,910 views) 10 cars more expensive than Jets (263,800 views) Igbo scholar disgraces Femi Fani-Kayode •Demolishes claims on Igbo/Yoruba history with facts and figures (256,057 views) Breaking News: POPULAR REVEREND CONVERTS TO ISLAM in Kaduna (Nigeria) (253,316 views) OBJ’s son reported dead in Lagos plane crash •Names of more victims emerge (234,794 views) My wasted years in Olumba Olumba Obu’s Evil Brotherhood (220,988 views) Lagos plane crash: Journalist releases victims’ names (198,522 views) THE FINAL DISGRACE: Igbo scholar unleashes more facts about Igbo/Yoruba history, finishes off Femi Fani-Kayode with second article (195,739 views)


CBN milk production

CBN banner advert

UBA Wise Savers Promo


Categories Advertorials (3) African Press Organisation (81) Art & Literature (105) Business & Economy (4,491) Business Verdict (85) Columnists (1,127) Complaints & Requests (96) Enterprise & Opportunities (217) Entertainment (689) Features (829) Global Business Monitor (465) ICT Monitor (65) International (4,077) Interview (204) Live Commentary (30) Love Matters (174) Maggie's Blog (448) News (52,677) Opinion (1,394) Pidgin (17) Politics (11,571) Religion (1,110) Sports (2,194) Stock Watch (39) AMA & Al Jazeera Global Update







APO Group Partner




GOCOP Accredited Member

GOCOP Accredited member



Africa Media Agency and Al Jazeera