As for me and my house, we go vote for...

Posted by News Express | 12 February 2019 | 2,074 times

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Dis year election wan pass all di order one dem wey I don see since wen I comot for my village Ogbomoso come Lagos 1963, come learn mecho work, before I begin do dis my taxi driver work.

Dis year election don cause plenty ting already.

Family don scatter, husband and wife don fight, broda and sister don break dia head, all becos of election. And di election no even take place yet till Saturday o.

See like dat Friday wey rain hammer for Lagos like say Noah flood wan happen again. One family like dat take me for Drop go Alimosho.

From our garage wey dey for near Ikeja under bridge, I take Agege Pen Cinema side, say make we enter Iyana Ipaja, enter Egbeda, den begin dey go for Alimosho.

Una kukuma sabi as Lagos road dey be wen rain fall. Ordinary from Moshalashi Alhaja, go reach Iyana Ipaja, take us like four hour. Na so so water my guonguoro just dey drink for road. Afraid come dey catch me make rain water no carry my guonguoro trowey for gutter.

Di papa, mama and dia man pikin wey I carry no even wan know how I take dey manage dey drive dem pass all di water for road wey plenty pass River Jordan sef. Dem just siddon dia dey argue who go win and who no go win for Saturday election.

Pikin and im mama say na Umbrella go win, papa say na Broom go win. Pikin ask im papa why e talk say na Broom go win. Papa give pikin one dirty slap for face paaaaaa!!! E say why small pikin go ask am dat kind stupid question.

Mama ask papa why e slap pikin like dat, papa too give mama taassaaahhh for face. Olorun Oba o!

Na im mama hold papa for clothe, begin cry say: “You slap me? See dis useless man, your mate dem full for outside dia, you no fit go slap dem. Your own power na to take dey beat woman.

Wetin dis your witch Broom don do for you since wen you begin dey follow am?  You must to kill me today o. I no go lef you till you kill me and Taju for inside dis taxi today.”

As I hear dat one, na im I park,  I tell dem say since wen I begin drive dis my guonguoro for Lagos, I no jam anybody, and nobody don die for inside. I say make dem respect demsef or go drop dem for inside dat heavy rain and go my way.

As I talk dat one, e come be like say I pour petrol for fire. Papa say make I no mind dis useless woman wey jus dey carry dis dia Umbrella wey don tear finish, dey take dey make noise upandan everyday. E say since wen im wife begin carry Umbrella, e no dey respect am for house again.

Dia pikin, Taju say na lie im papa dey talk, say since wen im papa begin carry Broom, na im everyting for dia house turn upside down. Na so papa give pikin anoder dirty slap for face gbosssaaaarrrr!!! Mama sef give papa back for face pppuuuuaaaarrrr!!!  Torin Olorun!!!

Tank God say dat time we don reach Alimosho and rain still dey hammer. I pack for di place wey dem say dem dey go. Papa bring out money for pocket pay me.

Mama open door, bring out umbrella wey e hold, and begin dey go with pikin inside di rain water. Papa call mama make e wait for am make e follow enter di umbrella. Mama tell am say: “Umbrella ko, rain coat ni”. Mama and pikin continue to dey go dia way.

Papa look me, I look papa. I tell am say make e go down, say I wan turn begin go back to my garage. Papa ask me wetin e go do as di rain still dey fall.

I look under my passenger seat, I bring out di broom wey I dey use clean inside my guonguoro, I give am say make e use di broom cover im head, enter di rain.

Na im papa take one wicked eye like dat look me tititi, den open door, go down and begin run inside di rain follow im wife and pikin.

I laugh no be small. I put my guonguoro for gear, begin move.

As I dey drive dey go back, na im I talk am for my mind say na yeye family be dat.  As for me and my family, we shall vote for . . . (Abeg helep me complete am)

Make we jam again for Friday.


Source: News Express

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