My guonguoro no be ambulance, abeg!

Posted by News Express | 3 July 2020 | 1,224 times

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Since I begin do dis my taxi driver work for Lagos, dem never shake me as dem shake me yesterday.

Before I wake up dat morning to begin prepare go our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, na so my torch-light chinko phone begin ring.

I check di number, no be number wey I know. I drop di phone.

As I jus put one leg for my dross, carry up di second leg to put inside so dat I wear my shokoto trouser on top, na im di phone begin hala again. I say make I rush pick di call, na im my leg hang inside di dross, and na so I land for ground yakata! Tori Olorun!

Tank God say day don dey break, so na only me dey inside room. To say my two woman pikin dem - Bisi and Funke -  come see me dey roll for ground with only dross, wetin I for tell dem?

I manage stand up, wear my dross finish and check di phone, I see say na di same number call me. I pick am.

Na one bobo like dat call me. E ask weda na me be Oga MAT. As a correct Naija man, me sef use question jam im own question. I ask am, “Na who dey call?”

Di bobo say e call from Yaba. I tell am say na me be Oga MAT.

E say make I begin come Yaba now, now, now. E say I must to reach Yaba not later dan 7.30 o'clock am dat morning on di dot. E say dem get contract for me. And wen I reach Yaba bus stop make I call am, im go tell me di place I go meet am.

I ask am wetiin be im name, which kind contract and how e take get my phone number.

Di bobo say sebi I be taxi driver? I say yes. E say di contract na taxi work nah. Na charter.

E say im name be Mr. Banglovish. And na di secretary-general of our union for national secretariat for Abuja give am my phone number.

Wen I hear dat one, my head come swell up. I come talk am for my mind say, so even Abuja people sabi me!

I run go outside and tell my wife Bose di caliber of people wey call me, and dat dem say make I begin come Yaba for contract now, now, now.

Bose say abeg make I wait for am. Kia kia, e run go inside, e say make e hurry go baf and follow me reach Yaba.

Bose say e don dey plan to go Oyigbo since yesterday, to go  buy crayfish, okporoko head, dry pepper, egusi, dry fish, elubo and ororo.

I look Bose ti-ti-ti. I look time. Na so my phone begin ring again.

(To be continued)

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

 


Source: News Express

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