No be only Corona, na Corolla

Posted by News Express | 26 June 2020 | 647 times

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Noting wey man no dey see for dis our taxi driver work.

Na im make I wan go register for night school wey dey for one corner like dat for my area Abule Egba. Di school na for agbalagba like us.

My plan be say, wen I finish dat night school, I go take WAEC. If Olorun butter my bread, I go take JAMB. If JAMB jam me, me sef go jam JAMB. But no how, no how, dey must to answer me by force by fire.

After dat, I go enter Uniservity go study AAC (Any Available Course). After all, wetin dem dey take course do for Naija now? After all, I hear say di bobo wey be manager for my bank na music e go study for Ife, now na people money e dey manage for bank.

But my own be say, I wan go school becos I wan sabi write well, no be all dis grammar wey I dey broke so. I wan begin dey write all di orisirisi tings wey I dey see for Lagos road for inside book becos di kind tings wey my  mouth dey see everyday, my eye no fit talk am. I swear!

See like dat day wey one bobo don nack coat for body finish, den come use rope tie im neck.

As e waka for dat hot sun enter our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, di bobo jus dey sweat like xmas goat.

Di bobo say make I drop am for Ikeja LG Council. I come talk am for my mind say dis one na lazy youth wey Bubu talk about di order time. See our garage, see Ikeja Council, na im dis bobo come carry taxi for drop? Tori Olorun!

Anyway sha, wetin concern agbero with overload? My own na to carry passenger and collect my money, dat's all.

I tell am my price, e gree. I say make e enter. Di bobo jump enter front seat.

As we jus near dat Awolowo glass house wey dey after di bridge, na im di bobo begin complain say belle dey turn am. Small time e say e be like say e wan vomit. Di next ting e say e wan shit.

I say shioorr! Na which one you wan do now? I ask am, shey make I park make e do di three both of dem inside gutter?

Di bobo say weda I wan make dem arrest am. E say make I manage drive fast, say wen e reach Council e go kukuma empty everyting for toilet.

Na dat time e tell me say na nkwobi dey worry am. E say im friend carry am yesterday evening go one joint like dat wia im chop 5 plate of nkwobi and take 5 Shine Shine Bobo wash am down.

I ask am say,  so na for inside dis im belle e empty all dat nkwobi?

Di bobo say yes nah, say im see awoof and e must chop am.

I tell am say di awoof na im dey torment am so.

As we reach Council, di gateman see me and open gate. E jus dey hail me “Oga MAT! Oga MAT!!” Na my area nah.

My passenger tell di gateman say make e show am place make e vomit and shit.

As di oga of di gateman jus hear dat one, e rush comot for dat im small gate office, carry one ting like dat point for my passenger face and head. Di next ting, e say make I park well make my passenger come down. E say my passenger get Coronavirus.

I no know di time wen me and my passenger open mouth and shout at di same time, “Corona wetin?”

Quick, quick, di gateman oga don use whistle call four ambulance wey dey for Council.

Everywia come scatter. See as people jus dey run say dem don see anoder Coro person.

Na so dem push my passenger enter ambulance, and all di ambulance come dey blow siren pim, pom, pim, pom, pim, pom clear road dey go Yaba.

So anyting wey do person now na Corona? Even nkwobi?

Corona ko. Corolla ni!

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

Source: News Express

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